If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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