we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
