JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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