dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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