i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
