You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize