Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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(801): View more from Utah

We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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(860): View more from Connecticut

isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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(636): View more from Missouri

The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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(310): View more from California

yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him

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(513): View more from Ohio

dude I fucking saw you snort tequila

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