im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
