Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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