If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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