That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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