We won't sleep together?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
