dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
