He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
