ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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