I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
