i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
