we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
