UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I look better un-naked...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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