Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
