Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Boobs are out for the taking
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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