Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
