When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
