i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
