Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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