I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
