maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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