So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize