How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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