There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
