Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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