We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
