I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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