Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
