It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
