Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
