Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
