Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
