Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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