Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
