i don't like sucking hair
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
