Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Someone signed my nipple.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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