And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
