You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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