Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
