oh god the rape fog is back!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
