Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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