my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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