There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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