So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize