I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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