So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
