he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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