I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
