so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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