btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
