My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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