you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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