whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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