We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
