Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Im part way to drunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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