I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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