Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
