who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
