i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
