So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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