I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
