He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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